So I’ve been listening to a lot of Sovereign Grace sermons. I listened to the Sanctifying the Ordinary series. They were amazing. We are to do all things to God’s glory, and God is sovereign over every part of our lives–even work, sleep, eating, leisure time. I’m fairly certain that I’ve never heard a sermon about sleep before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was both encouraging and very convicting. So if you haven’t heard these sermons, I would check them out. I highly recommend them and most other sermons by Mahaney or Purswell.
Surrender All
Surrender All
Words and music by Rich Dalmas
As recorded on Worship God Live
Lyrics
Take all I am, Lord, and all that I cling to
You are my Savior I owe everything to
Take all the treasures that lie in my storehouse
They cannot follow when I enter Your house
So I surrender all to You
I surrender all
Take all my cravings for vain recognition
Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition
I want so much Lord to make You the focus
To serve You in secret and never be noticed
Take all my hunger for all that’s forbidden
Every desire and sin I keep hidden
Search me and know me I want to bring to You
A life that is holy and sanctified through You
© 2004 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).
How Can I Keep from Singing
My life flows on in endless song;
Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the sweet though far off hymn
That hails a new creation:
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?
What though my joys and comforts die?
The Lord my Savior liveth;
What though the darkness gather round!
Songs in the night He giveth:
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of Heav’n and earth,
How can I keep from singing?
I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smoothes
Since first I learned to love it:
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing:
All things are mine since I am His—
How can I keep from singing?
-Robert Wadsworth Lowry
Chambers Quotes
We can only be used by God after we allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We don’t even recognize the envy, laziness, or pride within us when we see it. But Jesus will reveal to us everything we have held within ourselves before His grace began to work. How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?
My boyfriend

So I am still alive for those who have expressed concern. The latest guess as to my health problems is that I may be allergic to wheat so I’m eating gluten free for the next 8 weeks. Fun times. I am also working on a relationship with my friend Ras who I’ve been e-mailing and chatting with for years. Yes he is in Africa. No he is not a missionary. He is an African. No he is not a serial killer or rapist or conartist. If he is and has been working on conning or abusing me in some way for this many years (because we have been friends for years) then I say he deserves to have his hard work pay off.
Seriously, don’t be worried. We are getting to know each other better in the hopes of maybe having a more serious relationship. We are both looking to settle down so we shall see…He hopes to have me visit him sometime maybe this summer even. If that goes well hopefully he will be able to be over here by this time next year.
Update
So…life has been interesting lately. I’m able to type a little more now. I’ve been having trouble with my carpal tunnel among other things, so I couldn’t type much at all without a lot of pain or numbness. My hands/arms are finally starting to feel better which is good because I have a lot of work to do on the piano and on the computer. My pastor encouraged me to go ahead and try to get to China next year if I can instead of waiting a year. We shall see…I’ve been having trouble with my heart lately. (physically, not spiritually for all you sarcastic ones) It had been beating funny and faster than normal. I had to wear a heart monitor for a day and it showed that my heart was beating really fast at times for no reason even over 150 while I was sleeping. After tons of tests and tons of money spent, the cause is undetermined. Apparently my heart “sometimes just does that.” Nice….Well I have been stressed in the recent past and my blood pressure is suddenly spiking for no apparent reason. I’ll face some little irritation and feel like flipping out. Total body over-reaction. Most of the time I’ve been able to outwardly control myself, but inside I feel super out of control like a panic attack. No clue why. That’s not me…I’m avoiding caffeine; I wish I could avoid certain coworkers/students, but alas no such luck…
First 25 random songs in my playlist
1. Nearer My God to Thee-Alan Hall
2. You Never Gave Up On Me-Crystal Gale
3. Mad World-Gary Jules
4. Human-Jon McLaughlin
5. Waiting-Ryan Montbleau Band
6.Falling Slowly-Glen Hansard
7. Here at the Right Time-Josh Ritter
8. Nice ‘N’ Easy-Frank Sinatra
9. Size Too Small-Sufjan Stevens
10. Beautiful Disaster-Jon McLaughlin
11.Be Right Here-Northmont
12. Bright Day-Shooting John
13. Lies-Glen Hansard
14. Again-Lambchop
15. Mountain of God- Third Day
16. Short Careers-Eric Bachmann
17. Too Good To You-Josh Kelley
18. You and Me-Rosie Thomas
19. Go Light Your World-Kathy Troccoli
20. 9 Crimes-Damien Rice
21. Mileage-Brian VanderArk
22. Let Your Beat Go On-Brendan James
23. Bad Day-Daniel Powter
24. Deep Enough to Dream-Chris Rice
25.Spark-Over the Rhine
Vessel
Vessel
Safe inside your hands you hold me
Pain and tribulations mold me
I try to run away from you
The pain’s too great you put me through
I find myself on my knees to pray
Then you hear the words you long for me to say
Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel
Deep inside my heart you’ve shown me
Despite all my sins you’ve known me
I try to run away again
I break your heart with all my sin
I fall to you with tear-filled eyes
I run to you with broken heart and cry
Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel
Make me into what you want for me to be
Oh, lord, may my prayer be
Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel
Oh lord make me, a vessel
My week
It has been a crazy up and down kind of week. I’ve been really exhausted for so long, but apparently I was anemic and didn’t know. Unfortunately, I had to spend tons of money on tests on my heart before they decided to give me a blood test to see if I was anemic. I didn’t know anemia caused your heart to race, otherwise it may have occurred to me. Such is life…
My jv volleyball team won first in the league and first in the tournament tonight. Fun times… Yeah so still kinda exhausted and I have to get up at 4am. I have some interesting things going on that I’ll have to address later.
More Chambers
“After every time of exaltation, we are brought down with a sudden rush into things as they really are, where it is neither beautiful, poetic, nor thrilling. The height of the mountaintop is measured by the dismal drudgery of the valley, but it is in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God.” –Oswald Chambers
Books
I have really enjoyed the last three books I’ve read (besides my English textbooks)
Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri –I was so excited to finally see another book out by her. After reading her first two books, I kept checking up on her hoping she would put a new book out. I kept searching and finding nothing, and then finally I saw Unaccustomed Earth I love all of her stories that I have read. I’m not an immigrant, but who cannot relate to feeling out of place? I love her characters, and I challenge those who say that she uses the same characters in all her stories. Yes, the stories were about Bengali people, but there are many out there saying that there is no need to read this book if you’ve read her others. I say that is completely untrue. I actually started getting up earlier because I really wanted to finish the book. Anyone that knows me, knows that is saying a lot. I found myself effortlessly sympathizing with the characters–a good thing as long as I wasn’ t reading in public.
On Sunday I read Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris I obviously didn’t agree with everything contained in the book. However, I thought it had some amazing ideas. I never ran into the idea that adolescence didn’t have to be the way it was until I had Dr. Zichterman for Child and Adolescent Psychology, and the thought has never left me. These guys did a great job expressing that and giving some very practical ways for teens to get out of their comfort zones and live up to the potential they have.
I am currently reading the Thursday Next series. I just finished Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde. The books are odd. I’ve never read anything quite like them. They aren’t quite in line with my sense of humor, yet I still find them so strangely entertaining. I had heard of them, but never got around to reading them. I have so many books on my to-read list, but my friend Ethan lent me The Eyre Affair to read on the plane over break, and he recently lent me three others that I am working on right now. I recommend the series from what I’ve read so far.
I am also currently reading And the Shofar Blew by Francine Rivers. I like it so far. I think Rivers is an excellent writer at least compared with other current Christian writers.
Looking ahead
I’ve been praying about what God would have me to do in the future. I have never lost my great burden for China, but I was 100% sure that God wanted me here in Texas. Lately, I’ve been dying to go back to China again. I’m saving to go this summer, and unless God leads otherwise in the meantime, I plan to stay in Texas til my debt is paid off. At that time, I believe God would have me go into more long term missions–China as far as I know. I’m excited, but trying to “be where I am” for now. I have a goal that I am working toward unless God leads otherwise, and that makes me look forward to the future.
