Jo’s BJU Approved Blog

“To love would be an awfully big adventure.”
— J.M. Barrie

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw also the Lord.” Isaiah 6:1

Our soul’s history with God is frequently the history of the “passing of the hero.” Over and over again God has to remove our friends in order to bring Himself in their place, and that is where we faint and fail and get discouraged. Take it personally: In the year that the one who stood to me for all that God was, died - I gave up everything? I became ill? I got disheartened? or - I saw the Lord?

Oswald Chambers

It’s official. The tickets are purchased, and I am beginning the countdown to what I hope will be my last first date. It will definitely be at the least a fun week with the best friend I have ever had. I’m looking forward to that even in the event that this doesn’t come to be the relationship I would hope it to be. Victor and I are going to a wedding in Dallas on May 29 and then he will come spend a week with me before visiting family and then heading back to London.

“And [Uzziah’s]fame spread far, for he was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God” II Chronicles 26:15, 16 (ESV)

Uzziah’s name means “the Lord is my strength.” He began to seek after the Lord, but the stronger he got, the more arrogant he became. He came to feel that he was unstoppable, above the law–even God’s law. God put a quick end to that attitude, striking him with leprosy after Uzziah grew angry with the priests for their confronting him about his blatant disregard for God’s law. Sadly when he died and was buried, the people remembered him more for his skin disease and not all the great things God did in his life previously.

“God has chosen the world’s insignificant and despised things —the things viewed as nothing—so He might bring to nothing the things that are viewed as something, so that no one can boast in His presence. But from Him you are in Christ Jesus, who for us became wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, in order that, as it is written: The one who boasts must boast in the Lord.”
I Corinthians 1:28-31 (HCSB)

I know I am so quick to steal credit for God’s work in my life. I know in my head that I can do nothing of worth apart from God, but I still find myself being drawn away by pride. I forget how much I need God sometimes, and so as painful as sometimes the reminders can be, I am glad in the end when he sends me a wakeup call that I need to fully depend on Him at all times. I’ve gotten some glimpses into how desperately wicked my heart truly is and what I would be drawn to/living in were it not for His miraculous grace. I’m trying to learn to take the blame when I’ve done wrong and to not take the credit when God has done a work in/through me. Easier said than done, but I’m thankful that He’s still working on me

So I’ve been listening to a lot of Sovereign Grace sermons. I listened to the Sanctifying the Ordinary series. They were amazing. We are to do all things to God’s glory, and God is sovereign over every part of our lives–even work, sleep, eating, leisure time. I’m fairly certain that I’ve never heard a sermon about sleep before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was both encouraging and very convicting. So if you haven’t heard these sermons, I would check them out. I highly recommend them and most other sermons by Mahaney or Purswell.

Surrender All

Words and music by Rich Dalmas
As recorded on Worship God Live

Lyrics

Take all I am, Lord, and all that I cling to
You are my Savior I owe everything to
Take all the treasures that lie in my storehouse
They cannot follow when I enter Your house

So I surrender all to You
I surrender all

Take all my cravings for vain recognition
Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition
I want so much Lord to make You the focus
To serve You in secret and never be noticed

Take all my hunger for all that’s forbidden
Every desire and sin I keep hidden
Search me and know me I want to bring to You
A life that is holy and sanctified through You

© 2004 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

My life flows on in endless song;
Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the sweet though far off hymn
That hails a new creation:
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?

What though my joys and comforts die?
The Lord my Savior liveth;
What though the darkness gather round!
Songs in the night He giveth:
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of Heav’n and earth,
How can I keep from singing?

I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smoothes
Since first I learned to love it:
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing:
All things are mine since I am His—
How can I keep from singing?

-Robert Wadsworth Lowry

We can only be used by God after we allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We don’t even recognize the envy, laziness, or pride within us when we see it. But Jesus will reveal to us everything we have held within ourselves before His grace began to work. How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?

So I am still alive for those who have expressed concern. The latest guess as to my health problems is that I may be allergic to wheat so I’m eating gluten free for the next 8 weeks. Fun times. I am also working on a relationship with my friend Ras who I’ve been e-mailing and chatting with for years. Yes he is in Africa. No he is not a missionary. He is an African. No he is not a serial killer or rapist or conartist. If he is and has been working on conning or abusing me in some way for this many years (because we have been friends for years) then I say he deserves to have his hard work pay off. Seriously, don’t be worried. We are getting to know each other better in the hopes of maybe having a more serious relationship. We are both looking to settle down so we shall see…He hopes to have me visit him sometime maybe this summer even. If that goes well hopefully he will be able to be over here by this time next year.

So…life has been interesting lately. I’m able to type a little more now. I’ve been having trouble with my carpal tunnel among other things, so I couldn’t type much at all without a lot of pain or numbness. My hands/arms are finally starting to feel better which is good because I have a lot of work to do on the piano and on the computer. My pastor encouraged me to go ahead and try to get to China next year if I can instead of waiting a year. We shall see…I’ve been having trouble with my heart lately. (physically, not spiritually for all you sarcastic ones) It had been beating funny and faster than normal. I had to wear a heart monitor for a day and it showed that my heart was beating really fast at times for no reason even over 150 while I was sleeping. After tons of tests and tons of money spent, the cause is undetermined. Apparently my heart “sometimes just does that.” Nice….Well I have been stressed in the recent past and my blood pressure is suddenly spiking for no apparent reason. I’ll face some little irritation and feel like flipping out. Total body over-reaction. Most of the time I’ve been able to outwardly control myself, but inside I feel super out of control like a panic attack. No clue why. That’s not me…I’m avoiding caffeine; I wish I could avoid certain coworkers/students, but alas no such luck…

1. Nearer My God to Thee-Alan Hall
2. You Never Gave Up On Me-Crystal Gale
3. Mad World-Gary Jules
4. Human-Jon McLaughlin
5. Waiting-Ryan Montbleau Band
6.Falling Slowly-Glen Hansard
7. Here at the Right Time-Josh Ritter
8. Nice ‘N’ Easy-Frank Sinatra
9. Size Too Small-Sufjan Stevens
10. Beautiful Disaster-Jon McLaughlin
11.Be Right Here-Northmont
12. Bright Day-Shooting John
13. Lies-Glen Hansard
14. Again-Lambchop
15. Mountain of God- Third Day
16. Short Careers-Eric Bachmann
17. Too Good To You-Josh Kelley
18. You and Me-Rosie Thomas
19. Go Light Your World-Kathy Troccoli
20. 9 Crimes-Damien Rice
21. Mileage-Brian VanderArk
22. Let Your Beat Go On-Brendan James
23. Bad Day-Daniel Powter
24. Deep Enough to Dream-Chris Rice
25.Spark-Over the Rhine

Vessel
Safe inside your hands you hold me
Pain and tribulations mold me
I try to run away from you
The pain’s too great you put me through
I find myself on my knees to pray
Then you hear the words you long for me to say

Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel

Deep inside my heart you’ve shown me
Despite all my sins you’ve known me
I try to run away again
I break your heart with all my sin
I fall to you with tear-filled eyes
I run to you with broken heart and cry

Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel

Make me into what you want for me to be
Oh, lord, may my prayer be
Make of me a vessel that you can always use
No matter how you break me, what i win or what i lose
Let me be a vessel pure and holy, perfect in your eyes
Lord, hear me when i cry, for you to make me, a vessel
Oh lord make me, a vessel